Public Note
Latest text of Note VV7ZGV4CfE
Saved Feb 14, 2012
I'm doing the Final Review (in pink). :Di 
NOTE TO TRANSLATORS: Our friends from LA speak in a very casual style to the audience at this first of the monthly Townhall Events.  I have edited their choice of words where possible in the hopes that your translation efforts will be easier.  
Examples of 'padded (unnecessary for meaning) speech' : stuff like that, kind of like, and of course, so/and basically, and a thing like that...
TZM Regional Townhall Meeting 2011, June 21 in LA, CA - Proofreading Notes
General notes:
* I've taken out about 10 or 15 'again's' trying to create more space
* Taken out most 'if you will's' but not all of them (it's his style so if space allows why not?) Yes, it's his style but do translators honor that?  Good question to ask!  
* Taken out a lot of 'now's, you know's and well's' also in order to create space
* Taken out some 'in facts's', 'basically's, 'so's' and 'and's' here and there to reduce repetition 
*  using again double quotation marks as they're displayed in some places and to keep it uniform
I agree with all the editing notes here and have taken out a few more 'of course's' etc.and left some in that I felt were too 'PJ' to omit! 
According to our new and updated Guidelines, it will be appropriate to use single quotes for words and phrases.  I have changed this where needed in the video.
In the following lines, the ellipses would be inappropriate.  It's not an incomplete sentence.  We should just end the sentence with a period.  I changed it. 
The fuel of our world economy
is the interest to keep buying and consuming
and buying and consuming...
01:52.018- 01:54.380
and activism of The Movement later on but I want to quickly throw out say - Isn't better to say this? It's shorter and it's bit clearer. Haven't changed it though... 
The Zeitgeist Movement isn't a political movement nor, for many reasons I don't have time to explain, nor do we identify with a political structure and the way it unfolds.
10:58.528 - 11:06.625 
"God, we've got to get rid of these bottled waters on stage." But you know, what do you do when these societies society expects you to walk around? This is what people do. It becomes normality to be so inefficient - tried to create as much space as possible without losing the message
I have edited this. 
that this has emerged. And this tool has stood the test of time providing us with continual conformation confirmation of its effectiveness - it's difficult to tell but I believe confirmation fits better here... I agree with this. 
22:04.742 - 22:16.089 
What is the consequence of all this inefficiency we speak of? Well, as much as I hate to say it, I would have to say that our society rests on the edge of a cliff with a gigantic abyss underneath.
Each one of them is problematic on its own
Jason speaks very quickly in some places.  Will need some timing fixes.
Feedback's giving usefulness becomes self-evident - I'm not sure about this one... He says this but I believe that "Feedback-giving's usefulness becomes self-evident" would be better... Who's usefulness? Feedback-giving's usefulness.... Haven't changed it though. 
It's confusing.  I changed it to the following, although it's not EXACTLY what Jason says:
The usefulness of feedback becomes self-evident
and ultimately is brought to the attention
of the global and national coordinators and then
the whole feedback-loop of communication is flowing both ways
so we can all stay in touch and move together.
I'm one of those people that goes up: "How's your day going?" - I think it should be "I'm one of those people that goes up and says "How's your day going?" but that would be too long I think. How about "I'm one of those people that says "How's your day going?" ? Haven't changed it. 
How do you deal with someone when they're just up in your face and just won't listen to have anything you have to say, listen to?
To Translators: Brandon likes using 'kind of' and 'a thing like' in his speech.  I have omitted as many 'kind of's' as possible to help with wordiness. He often speaks in incomplete sentences.  You'll probably need to give a real team-effort to translating some of the lines.   
Here's another example of language that could be simplied for translators: 
so also we do this thing where
there's this California-statewide, coordinated effort, where we...
because a lot of the chapters in California actually have banners
and we all go out on the same day and just display them.
I've changed it to this:
so also 
in a California-statewide coordinated effort and 
because a lot of the chapters in California actually have banners
we all go out on the same day and just display them.
Round 2 proofreading          
00:12.800 - 00:18.051
as the general intellectual, moral, and cultural climate of an era.
(added a comma after "moral)
00:28.670 - 00:32.954
the dominant intellectual, moral, and cultural climate of a time
(added a comma after "moral)
04:45.257- 04:47.725
actually reinforces the opposite
04:47.825 - 04:50.660
of what a true economy is supposed to be
06:54.621 - 06:56.900
without the modern equipment we have today.
(Removed the question mark at the end, because it's a statement and not a query)
09:30.347 - 09:33.219
One, every item produced in our society is immediately inferior
Here, I chose to use numerals.  Numerals are on the screen, example:  1. Every item produced in our society is immediately inferior.
09:56.007 - 09:57.809
called "technological unemployment"
Phrases use single quotes. 
10:41.965 - 10:43.545
is the enemy.
17:48.100 - 17:50.000
the more resentment, anger,
(added a comma after "anger")
20:06.453 - 20:07.965
(it's a scientific reality)
35:25.869 - 35:31.830
and basically it's sort of a communication network that branches out
37:14.480 - 37:18.597
she helps pull this all together on a national level.
38:29.187 - 38:31.795
of not only The Movement's presence in the world
57:57.586 - 57:59.599
to understand that there's alternatives.